Fashion Break: Until You Walked A Mile In My, Her Shoes…Don’t Go There

I really didn’t want to write this post….no really, I didn’t but after reading, A dIvA mOm’s Journey’s latest post, I couldn’t help myself. You see I’m from Newark, New Jersey, the same Newark, New Jersey that I left in August 2011, also the same
Newark, New Jersey that Whitney Houston is from. She was born the same year I was, just a few weeks before me. The church that she sang her first song in, The New Hope Baptist Church is the church I attended, served and preached my first sermon at. I didn’t know Whitney, she had already left…she was on her path to stardom but I know her mama, the legendary Cissy Houston so my heart cries for her. I feel connected to her by geography as well as similar experiences.  I have been so deeply disturbed by her death and even more so by the nasty, negative comments I have read throughout the internet. People are so cruel and judgmental but don’t know the first thing about what kind of pain one feels when they have been ensnared by the power of drugs. I can’t say I knew her pain but unfortunately I know all too well mine and what caused me to fall into a year long battle with drugs.

17 years ago, I was a walking, talking, functional coke-head (for those who don’t know, it means my drug of choice was cocaine), I went to work everyday and sniffed cocaine everyday of my life during that year.  I don’t know why I took that first snort but I do know that
after that first time, everything about life seemed so much better… until it wasn’t. Like Whitney I never set foot into a drug dealer’s presence, I had my own personal delivery man, the same man who introduced the drug to me. I won’t go into the gory details but just know that one day when enough was enough, Jesus came to see about me and I was delivered, not in recovery but delivered, healed and set free!  Now I can hear what you are saying about me right now and you know what, I don’t give a damn. I shared this part of myself to release the shame and stigma that drug addiction has placed on people, that enveloped me, so that those who are still being held captive can receive the healing they need. Drug addiction is a serious war if you haven’t been on the battlefield, don’t throw grenades they can injure sometimes unto death.

Tomorrow the world will say their goodbyes to Whitney Houston, her life will be remembered and celebrated where it all started in a church on Sussex Avenue in Newark, New Jersey surrounded by her loving family and friends. Forget about what you’ve heard, forget about what you’ve seen for no one knows truly but God. I am basking in the glow of gratefulness for her life ,while mourning the loss of a remarkably, gifted woman but when it’s all said and done… I’ll be rejoicing that one of God’s beloved children has gone home.

  • Dee

    Thank you for saying what needed to be said. People can be so judgmental about things they have no true knowledge of. I grew up on Whitney’s music and I will miss her dearly.

  • nylse

    I had to comment; this is powerful.
    Powerful because of your willingness to share a part of you that will help others.
    Powerful because we all need to be reminded not be so quick to judge but extend Grace and Mercy like God did to us.
    I love you for writing this!
    Thank you.

  • Digal704

    I have never been addicted to drugs, but my ex husband was. I have a cousin who was too! Addiction is ugly and leaves you feeling alone, powerless etc. I pray her family gets through this. Seeing her mom’s picture brought tears to my eyes. She is burying her baby. I hurt with her. I dont know her pain, but I have an idea.

  • Wana P

    Thanks for sharing. I too am disgusted by all the judgmental and nasty comments from people on their high horses. I’m continuing to pray for her family, friends, fans, and those who truly cared about her and others in general.

  • Sheila

    Bravo to you! I, too, wish people would stop with their negative comments. If we spread love instead of hate the world would be a better place!

  • For Those About To Shop

    How amazing that you got to attend the same Church as Whitney and even preach there! Congratulations on your recovery and thank you for your bravery in sharing your experience. I tell my children God has a special place for people who have suffered. I just feel He would not put us through such things unless he wanted to use us for something special.

  • Anonymous

    Yes Sis, yes.. Seethe captives free! My God, I can feel the power in your testimony and somebody is going to get their deliverance just like you did. My heart ached for Whitneys name, her Momma and her baby girl. Her talent and her anointing outshines any wrong they say she did. Nobody knows her personal struggles and we shouldn’t be focused on that. I loved her for the musical contribution she gave to the world. I’ve never battled drugs, but many family has, and I kept praying and loving them through the process. Prayer and love is key. I love your post, although I imagine it may have been difficult, I appreciate it.

  • gen321

    Thank God you were delivered from cocaine!!!

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  • foodfashionandflow

    God Bless you and thank your for being bold enough to share your experience. Addiction is a hurting thing to those with the addiction and to those that love them, but God has the power to do anything including delivering us from things that are destructive. Praise God that you were delivered and your testimony will help someone else.