I’m in a strange but really good place. I’m doing the work my spirit needs to be itself and it feels pretty ok. I feel like I’ve been in a state of constant growth lately, and much to my surprise it doesn’t hurt as much as past growth spurts have. I’m learning new things as well as rediscovering me in way that is scary but exciting at the same time. And I’ve finally given myself permission to be me in a way that I never have before. I’ve struggled with being me while doing it in a way that pleased other people, it mostly left me unhappy and unfulfilled. I spent much too much time being who and what everyone wanted me to be. I no longer am willing to conform myself into someone’s idea of what I need to be for their sake. I am learning to love and accept people for who and where they are in their journey. I may not like it but I will love them enough to support their growth. If I cannot receive the same, I am fine with that but I will not change to make you happy. The End. Period! I’ve accepted that there may be losses, they inevitably come with change. It is the price we must pay for maturity. Lots of new things are happening and they are all causing me to rethink how and if I still want to continue to blog.
I love blogging and I adore fashion and style, but it just feels so forced sometimes, like something I have to do. I have so many things I have to do already. I don’t want blogging to become just another one. I’m working full time out of the home again and it really is wrecking the family/blog life balance I had going on. My job is very stressful, I spend all day talking to people on the phone, getting them out of crisis mode with their internet issues and by the time I get home in the evenings….I am wiped out! Doing anything beyond eating dinner is too hard for me. My blogging has gone to the wayside. As I said to a great friend of mine a few days ago, my full time job is the side chick, where my heart lies and what gets all my love and attention is writing and ministry. I need to do as much of that as I possibly can, it feeds me and nourishes me like nothing else. I’ve laid all of this before God and I’m doing the work He has called me to do while I’m waiting for Him to work things out.
I am feeling the urge to move forward in a different direction, however I’m not really sure where that should be. I never ever in a million years thought I would be saying this but I’m seeing that there is more to life than fashion. Gasp!!! I’m still dressing and dressing well as a matter of fact (follow me on Instagram and Twitter for evidence of this ) but it’s becoming so challenging to document my outfits on a daily basis in blog form. Plus I have no photographer available when I’m available and no I have not learned how to use the tripod yet.
So what am I saying….things will probably change around here but in what way, I don’t know yet however I’m not going anywhere so I hope you’ll still choose to hang out with me a little while longer. There will still be fashion, there will always be fashion as well as some other stuff thrown in to the mix.
Go forth but…please, be stylish!